Swamp Hotties

Image Pretty doesn’t get you as far as it used to. Thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, makeup, & Pinterest women are looking prettier and prettier by the second. We live in the golden age of beauty! And even with that, there’s some serious gold mines of attractivity to be found. The Beatles (still not as big as Jesus) wished that “that they all could be California girls”. You my friends, obviously never spent time in Louisiana.

There is a hierarchy. I didn’t make it nor do I condone it but I do recognize it. In America, the prettiest girls are found in the south (and all God’s people said, Amen). Within the south, the prettiest girls are found in Louisiana. Don’t believe me? Go walk around LSU on a Saturday night.

I think this is purely the result of science. The mass amounts of humidity in the air have contributed to more healthy skin and hair in both men and women. Then there is the food. Food that good can only produce beautiful people. Add that with the process of years of breeding, and BAM. You get Swamp Hotties walking around.

I’m not saying that there aren’t pretty girls everywhere else. I’m just saying that the average attractiveness of Louisiana women exceeds the average attractiveness of other competing states (in my personal opinion). This is based on scientific assumptions made by an uneducated funny guy. Don’t get crazy with this.

With all these attractive women running around, there is a reality that follows. Being pretty is skin deep. It’s not a competition. Everyone is pretty. There’s something about everyone that someone else doesn’t have that someone values. If you’re feeling like you’re not pretty, stop it! You’re pretty. Someone thinks you’re gorgeous. Jesus thinks you’re beautifully and wonderfully made.

That being said, congratulations. If you live in the south, you’re a winner. If you live in Louisiana, you’re a winner. If you live outside of the South and outside of Louisiana… move to Louisiana. The humidity only takes a few weeks to get used to and then you’ll be on the road to being pretty.

I'm sure you're possibly offended if you live out of state. If that's the case, let me please request that you try to laugh a little at a ridiculous blog post...

Andy Walt

In His Solution